I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
