her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
