Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
