Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
