her vagine was all disorganized.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
