I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
