I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
