i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
