I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
