They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
