You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
