i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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