Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
