Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
