found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
sex in a hospital.. check
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
