She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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