Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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