Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
