It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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