I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You smell like a Billy Joel song
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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