i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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