Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
