Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
