Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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