You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
