Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
