Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
