Me too!
i just google imaged poop.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
