Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
