i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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