I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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