I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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