If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
