who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
