What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
