my phone cant type all the emotion im having
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
