Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
