Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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