She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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