Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
