Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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