Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
