I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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