i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
