He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
