yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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