Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
