i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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