I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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