Is it normal to miss your booty call?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's blow job season.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
