It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
